...and then came winter.

I woke this morning to curtains of white fluttering from the sky to settle determindly over every available surface. It's not the first time sure...but it hasn't let up all day and I think this time it's really here to stay. I know Cross Lake isn't alone in this. In fact my entire Facebook news feed has been taken up with pictures or trees and houses and vehicles all swathed in white.
It's led to a very lazy day of you tube and music playing. I was absolutely delighted to learn last week that my current roomate (because they rotate depending on who is working what weeks in the station) not only knows what a bodhran is but doesn't think I'm strange at all for owning one! Oh the glorious freedom of practicing without feeling like an idiot! In fact I we even had a miniature lesson the other day because my roomate wants to learn to play too!
I've also managed to develop a wicked cold this week (probably the side effect of looking in sick kids thraots telling them to say "aah!") with this ridiculous dry cough and sore throat and so my lazy day has been full of snow flakes, Irish music, and Earl Grey tea. It has actually been quite lovely I must admit! :)

Just after my last cup of Earl Grey,  I thought that perhaps it was time that I updated this blog... just in case anyone reads it from time to time. Sorry about that if anyone is! If it makes you feel better I have been better at keeping this up to date than my personal journal - which is rather sad because I used to do that every day too!
Since I last wrote a lot has happened. I was able to spend a few more days in Winnipeg for the nursing safety and awareness course and I think they are right in saying that ignorance is bliss sometimes! Work has been going fairly well I think with only a few times a day where I feel out of my element. If it gets less and less we are making progress right? In fact tonight I am hoping to spend some time shadowing in the ER - that is if I can get these cold symptoms under control and not be infecting anyone!
In the past few weeks there has been a lot going on at the nursing station and LOTS to learn for me for sure. My spare time has been spent hanging out with some of the other nurses from the station and it's really nice to feel like I am getting to know them better as time goes by. There really are a lovely bunch of nurses here and I have loved the conversations, movies, and cooking. They make me feel a little less homesick. Last week we were even invited to one of the doctor's apartments for an authentic Pakistani dinner. It was delicious - and not to mention a lovely evening. 

What else can I say really? Time is flying and the days are full. Work is pretty much my life here, working and learning, and having conversations with anyone willing to talk. God has been good and I know there is much goodness still to come and I pray that as much as I am learning to be a nurse everyday - I will learn still more how to be a disciple everyday.

What came after...

CRNE? check.
2nd delicious potluck? check.
First snowfall? check.

It is funny how I feel that I have so much to say... until I sit down to actually say it, and now, here I am staring at the white, expectant space wondering what it was I felt I had to share after all.

I suppose we should start with the CRNE (or the national Canadian RN exam). I would like to start by thanking you all SO MUCH for your prayers and encouragement as I prepared  and wrote the exam. It was a very unpredictable sort of exam... the kind that lulls you into thinking you know what you are doing... and then picks you up and shakes you into a timid unsure ball the next. I honestly have no idea how I did and to further complicate matters, I don't even know what kind of grade is required to pass because it is always on a curve, and usually high!
So, for now - and for the next six weeks - I will wait for the results and honestly, so fart that part has not been so bad. I am relieved to have it done with, and work is keeping me more than busy enough so that I am not sitting around worrying aobut it! There's nothing like a new, steeper than ever learning curve, to distract you eh?  :)

Another high point of the last week was that after the exam I was able to stay  out and go home for Thanksgiving with my family. They are a MARVELOUS bunch and it was do good for my soul to be home. It gets dearer and dearer everytime. There was food, and walks, and much laughter - not to mention all the stories about  how my sisters and cousins and aunts and uncles are doing. It was such a time of blessing and I found myself praising God for the family that he has given me, for the encouragement and source of joy that they have always been in my life.

Of course, eventually it was time to return to Cross Lake and I wasn't entirely sure that I was ready for that - having just come from a wonderful time with my family and still feeling pretty unsure about my ability to do my job well - but you know what? God knew. On Tuesday, I wasn't able to get on the flight I'd wanted and ended up getting an extra half day to hang out in Winnipeg before catching the next flight. I ended up spending a marvelous day reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. For anyone who reads - I HIGHLY reccomend this book!

The rest of this week has gone well I think and as I write the first snowfall of the year is falling wetly outside. The learning curve has remained steep - but there have been many encouraging moments as well., like long conversations with friends, kind words from my colleagues, and even a potluck breakfast on Friday.  God has been reminding me often that he is greater than anything I may face or fear, he is in control and for reasons I will never be able to grasp - he loves me more than I will ever know. It is very comforting. In fact - how could you know walk around with joy in your heart everyday because of that? :)

Week the First

:"Oh my sweet Westley, what have I done?"

- Buttercup in The Princess Bride

Okay, okay, I know the quote doesn't entirely seem to fit, but, "let me explain...no, there is too much. Let me sum up...". ;)  It all started last week when I recieved a text message out of the blue that contained nothing more than a quote from the Princess Bride. This is arguably one of the greatest cinematic treasures of all time and since that text, quotes from said beloved movie have been frequenting the oddest corners of my thoughts. Not the least is the quote above. Well... not exactly the "Oh my sweet Westley part", but definately the "What have I done?" part.
I didn't exactly want to blog on this aspect of my week, but there has kind of been the overarching theme of being in over my head - in a lot of ways.
We'll back up for a moment before this starts to sound all bad:
I am delighted to be back in Cross Lake, and it's so good to see all of the incredible staff who work in the nursing station. They are a marvelously warm, vibrant and skilled bunch and I could not  ask for better people to learn from and emulate in nursing, but as I said I have to be honest and admit that I may in over my head. Perhaps a week is too soon to draw that conclusion, but if bumbling, klutziness, and completely forgetting even the little knowledge you thought you knew right when you need it most are any indication - I have a long, steep learning curve ahead of me.
To their credit, the staff I am working with are patient, and gentle when offering correction, but I know enough to know when I am not doing a very good job - even not up to the best of my ability or knowledge (and for no lack of trying I promise you!).

I'm not asking "What have I done?" because I am unhappy, but I guess I'm asking it for the same reason Buttercup did - because I am terrified that I might cause hurt. That is my biggest fear in this job, that someday I will make a mistake (because I am all to aware that I am human) and that someone will be hurt because of it.

I have a dear friend who reminded me that being over your head is a good thing because it reminds you that you have to rely on God - I mean really rely on God. I am quick to talk bold talk, but this week has reminded me that I am very small indeed and that I still have so much need for God.  In a way I have been blessed this week because it has reminded me to pray much and often, and I've felt pretty child like. God doesn't leave when you feel small and inadequate though - he feels even more close. It is good to feel wrapped in his arms and because of that I have been sleeping securely and deeply.

This week I have been trying to remind myself that God does not judge me for my nursing ability, or even for being a scatterbrain. Most of all he has reminded me that he loves my patients more that I can even grasp. I must strive to do my very best for everyone I encounter but also have to realize that sometimes this is small and flawed so that in all things I must trust him. I must leave my short-comings in his hands and look to him, for strength and wisdom. As my firiend reminded me, I need to ask "Was everything I did today motivated by love?" because ultimately the people I see and the people I work with are treasured by Love.
That that is something I need to keep even closer to my mind than quotes from the Princess Bride.

... but in the mean time... how about another one for the road? It makes me smile because sometimes this is a little how I feel about passing the CRNE and officially being a 'real' nurse...haha! ;)

"A few more steps and we'll be safe in the Fireswamp"

"We'll never survive!"

"Nonsense.... you're only saying that because no one ever has!"

- The Princess Bride

Rock concerts, injera, and procrastination

Well somehow, the first entire week of orientation flew by (although when we were sitting in the sunless little boardroom staring at papers for hours on end "Flying" wasn't exactly the term I think I would have used for time) and somehow I find myself with only four days of orientation left before I will be back in Cross Lake. A part of me is very excited about that - and a part of me is terrified!
Things are coming down the pipe so quickly and I have to admit that I don't feel ready for any of them, not the least of which is the CRNE (or the national Canadian liscensing exam for nurses). Everyone keeps telling me not to worry, but with beginning a new job, moving out of my parents house again for an indeterminate amount of time, and seeing my two lovely and incredible sisters off to university - I hadn't done much studying. I had grand plans to make up for it though - what with living in a hotel and having nothing to do for entertainment for 2 weeks.... yeah right.
Instead I have found so many wonderful things to do and wonderful people to see, and this weekend was the best of all.
I can't even describe how much of an encouragement and a blessing this weekend was to me. There were several great and long conversations with friends in Winnipeg over long suppers, shopping, picnics in the park and sitting on the grass at an outdoor rock concert and evangelistic crusade.
Saturday was Rock the River in Winnipeg and Franklin Graham came and spoke. As well, there was music by several artists including Starfield (eep!!) and TFK. It was incredible! But the very best part of all was that when the Christian community in Winnipeg throws a party - it makes for a very small world and it was so encouraging and wonderful to run into  so many of my favorite people. I can't even describe how great it was to give and recieve hugs and hear how people's summers had been. It brought so much joy to my heart to see everyone again! Winnipeg is SO blessed to have all these incredible people in it!
Plus - I have to admit that eating junkfood on the grass outside and dancing to rock music, followed by worshiping our awesome God together along with so many other of my brothers and sisters in Christ was really fantastic as well.
And all of that was just Saturday!
Sunday was equally as marvelous as I got to go to church and visit my Winnipeg family. It was just like being home and once again I was so encouraged and left just rejoicing in all that God is doing amoung the people i love so much there. Sunday was also a lovely fall day for a picnic in the park and solving the worlds problems over sandwiches with some friends. Then to top off the day there was spicy Ethiopian food (heaven in my mouth!!!) with some of my family here in Winnipeg.
Oh! and did I mention that late night phone calls from Swan River upon returning from said dinner are also a great source of laughter, and delight?

So needless to say... there wasn't much studying done this weekend either, but you know? I think that instead of being a list of all the things I used to avoid studying ...this is really a list of all the things, events and people that God used to bring blessing and joy into my life this weekend.
HE IS SO GOOD!



....but in the mean time...if anybody needs praying material...can I suggest the CRNE as a candiate? :)

Out of the door

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to."
— J.R.R. Tolkien (The Lord of the Rings)

 

I always did love reading the Lord of the Rings.

Even as a awkward four-eyed kid I loved that a book could sweep me away on incredible adventures to unknown lands, unknown challenges, and unknown wonders. I craved it. I think in many ways,I still do and today marks the beginning of a new adventure that has Bilbo Baggins'wise old words ringing in my ears. I have found my self swept off to a place in my life that I never dreamed of. I have officially begun orientation as a Community Health Nurse with the First Nations and Inuit Health Branch in Manitoba and whn the 2 short weeks of orientation are finished here in Winnipeg, I will be climbing on one of Perimeter Air's finest aircraft, bound for Cross Lake Manitoba.

Working in Northern Manitoba? As a nurse? How the heck did I get here?!

Honestly, I'm not even sure I have an answer to that question, but I know it had something to do, at least in part, with stepping out (and I guess leaving the house was influential as well!).

In fact, answering that question and the hundreds more that are bound to arise over the next few months has a lot to do with why I am starting this blog. I want to invite you all, loved ones, strangers, friends, and bored web-site-browsers, to come along on this adventure with me and and several people have suggested that this would be a grand way to do just that. It gives me a place to process (always keeping confidentiality in tact of course!), to hear feedback, opinions and advice, and to stay connected with the wide world stretching beyond my door. 

 

So, please, come along for the ride, bring your wisdom, your encouragement, your prayers and your stories. I treasure them all!

Welcome to the adventure.